First, yes, that is a reference to Crash Test Dummies. Secondly, yes, I am the girl who won’t change in front of strangers. It’s not because I have some kind of horrid deformity such as birthmarks all over my body (unless you’re counting the multiple warts I have on one foot, which–yeah, okay, you can count those). For whatever reason, I just prefer to get naked behind a curtain and not out in the open with everybody else.
It’s not that I’m afraid these women I don’t know and will never see again might look at me and judge me. I don’t care that much about what other people think. It’s just, well, the curtain’s right there, so why not use it?
There are plenty of things I am truly afraid of. I’m afraid I won’t ever find someone who will love me for the rest of my life. I’m afraid I’ll make a stupid decision when I decide whether to stay in NYC. I’m afraid one day I’ll wake up and my previously bug-free apartment will be infested with cockroaches. I’m afraid my next apartment will be infested with cockroaches. But I’m not afraid of being naked in front of other women. So yesterday I bared it all, literally. After I went swimming, I peeled off my bathing suit in front of three other women in the locker room, and I pretended it was normal for me. I figured that if I could at least do that, then maybe those other fears, those real fears (if you think the cockroach fear isn’t real, you’ve obviously never lived in New York), may end up being less threatening, too.
I realize it’s kind of faulty logic, but logic was never my strong point. To quote the eloquent Crash Test Dummies: Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm.