I didn’t sleep at all (except for a half hour at 8am, at which point I had a very weird, extremely unsettling dream). We weren’t up all night giggling, whispering, and eating junk food. No, I was kept awake by adult problems, like the girl snoring next to me, the cat jingling, scratching, and generally being loud, and the mild case of insomnia I’ve had for the past 3 months.
Things I Thought About While Lying Awake on a Blow-Up Mattress for 6.5 Hours:
- You know how amputees sometimes “feel” their lost limbs moving or hurting after they’re gone? Can that sensation last forever? Do the amputees always eventually get used to not having the limb and gradually stop feeling it, or is it possible for them to live their entire lives feeling something that is no longer a part of them?
- If Dimitri from Anastasia had been allowed to enter this competition, would the results have been different? I mean, based on John Cusack’s voice alone, he would have at least made it to the finals.
- If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to ask for milk…but then what comes next in the story?
- Why didn’t I bring a long-sleeved shirt to sleep in? Or 2 winter coats?
- The way Happythankyoumoreplease tied everything up so perfectly at the end is annoying. It’s like, you’re not going to give us even one scenario that didn’t work out how it does in the movies? How can I pretend my life is a movie when even the bad parts–the guy goes to jail! But it’s no big deal–don’t seem all that bad?
- I can’t believe I have a blister on my hand from trying to open a Mike’s Hard Lemonade (Cranberry).
- Am I really so lonely that I’m considering taking the text from a guy asking his roommate to give me his email address 5 days after we saw each other as a good sign?
Things I Should Have Been Thinking About While Lying Awake on a Blow-Up Mattress for 6.5 Hours:
- How do I get to the Upper East Side from Bensonhurst if, when I get off the D at Atlantic Ave, the 4/5 is mysteriously blocked off? (The answer, if you’re curious, is to take the N/R to Union Square, where you’ll then take the local train all the way to 86th St because you missed the express by 30 seconds and the next one isn’t coming for 11 minutes.)