I love chocolate. I love chocolate in many forms–solid…liquid…most likely gas (is there such a thing as chocolate vapor? Sounds like a topic that needs investigating). I will eat chocolate even in forms I don’t love–pudding…well, that may be the only form I don’t love. But when it comes to ice cream, I never choose chocolate.
The reason, as any true chocolate connoisseur should be able to attest to, is that chocolate ice cream doesn’t taste like chocolate. Not really. It’s just this vague interpretation of the flavor, like how banana runts don’t taste like banana, and grape popsicles don’t taste like grapes. So, when given a choice of ice cream, I always choose another flavor; even as a child I would pick vanilla over chocolate.
So I couldn’t explain to you why, yesterday, I suddenly wanted chocolate ice cream. I thought about all of the other flavors I could get, and even my go-to vanilla didn’t sound appealing. I specifically required ice cream with a vague interpretation of chocolate flavor.
I probably shouldn’t try to read anything into this strange craving, but I wonder whether it might be an indication that things I used to believe about my life–that I have to live in a big city, that I have to love my job, that I don’t like chocolate ice cream–may not be set in stone. Maybe things aren’t as black and white (and brownish, in the case of the ice cream) as I thought they were. What if by sticking to my long-held beliefs, I’m somehow missing out on opportunities to be happy? What if I’m living in a false reality simply because it’s the only way I know how to live, when what I really should be doing is putting more energy toward being open-minded when it comes to my job, or my apartment, or my dessert choice? Maybe I’m tired of second-guessing every decision I ever make and want to try to convince myself that what I do with my life–even if it seems like only a vague interpretation of my dreams–is actually okay, will be okay, in the end.
Or maybe I just had a craving for regular, non-symbolic chocolate ice cream.