#52: Give in to an illness

22 Feb

Whenever I get sick, I try to convince my body to just get over it.  From the time in second grade that I went to school on Grandparents Day even though I felt awful and ended up throwing up all over my Oscar the Grouch project after my grandpa had left, to the time I went to work before I was fully recovered and ended up falling to the ground an hour into the day, to the time I spent nearly an entire Jamaican vacation with a fever, my first instinct is always to power through, to not give in, to be stronger than the illness.

Yesterday, though, when I woke up and could barely move, when my entire body was aching, my head was hurting, my stomach was warning not to put anything in it, and I felt feverish, I gave in immediately.  I didn’t try to go on with my day and ignore the signals that I shouldn’t leave my bed.  I obeyed, and I didn’t leave my bed all day.

And I did feel weaker for it.  I felt like I should be able to get past it.  I should be able to pull myself out of bed for long enough to take a shower.  I should be able to force something down my throat other than a cracker.  I should be able to at least sit up to read.  But I realize that’s silly.  I recognize that everyone gets sick, and I know that just because I’ve been completely out of commission for over 24 hours, that doesn’t actually make me a powerless person.

A person who has been utterly useless for the past day?  Yes, but not powerless.  Because I have to assume I will feel better at some point, in which case a momentary weakness isn’t indicative of a person’s entire character.  Giving in doesn’t make me weak.  It makes me sensible.  And that’s another new thing I haven’t tried before.

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Posted by on February 22, 2012 in Health



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