You don’t have to say it. I know. You’re doubting whether this was really the first time I’ve worn my underwear inside out, considering I’ve now worn an item of clothing the wrong way 3 times over the past 2 months. I’m doubting it, too. But I honestly don’t recall a time when I wore my underwear inside out for an entire day.
Don’t say that other thing, either, about how you’re thinking there must be something seriously wrong with me if I can’t even manage to dress myself when that’s pretty much the one thing in my life that I know, with little doubt, I will be doing in 6 months. There are plenty of skills I may need to master by the end of this year, including: procuring a full-time job; buying jeans that fit; attending a wedding without a +1 without caring; no longer eating chocolate every single day; stop getting into such heated debates when I talk to myself. However, putting on clothes is the one thing I’m fairly certain about. Yet apparently I can’t even do that right.
But I’m not worried. Maybe it’s due to my recent attempts at not being so ridiculously hard on myself for being the crazy, completely messed up person that I am (by the way, if you’re making similar attempts, check out these tips I just found about Brain Hamsters. I wish they had existed about 6 years ago so I could have given those spastic creatures in my mind a name–I’ve never been able to remember the difference between gerbils and hamsters).
Whatever the reason, I am not ashamed to say that I am nearly 28 years old and cannot seem to get it together enough to wear clothing properly. And anyway, since I work from home, I don’t technically need to wear anything, so putting underwear on at all is already an accomplishment.
So there. Take that, Brain Hamsters. Besides, why do you care if my clothes are on correctly? You guys don’t even wear underwear.