#125: Subway pizza sub

05 May

Food snobs, fast food avoiders, and chain restaurant snubbers, if you couldn’t tell from the title–if you thought maybe it meant something else–now is the time to look away.

Are you looking away?  Oh really?  Then how did you read that question?  Seriously, look away.

I like the smell of Subway.  You can say what you will about processed food, or mass-produced food, but I like the smell of baking bread.  I don’t care that after 5.5 years in New York City I’m supposed to have more discerning tastes.  I don’t mind that some people wouldn’t dream of buying a sandwich from that restaurant when you could just as easily (though not as cheaply) purchase one made of fresh ingredients next door.  I don’t even blame you for wondering why, out of all the possible new things I could have done yesterday, I chose to eat Subway’s special $5 sub of the month.

But guess what.  Even though Subway is not anywhere on my list of foods I would like to eat (and it’s not just because I don’t actually have such a list), it fits my criteria for an acceptable meal: cheap and, in the case of the pizza sub, saucy.  Sure, I’d rather eat gnocchi, or a juicy burger, or, let’s face it, you could hand me a muddy shoe and I’d lick it if it were drizzled with truffle oil.  I appreciate sophisticated food.  But when it comes down to it, my metabolism hasn’t yet slowed to the point where I choose quality over quantity.  My wallet hasn’t filled to that point, either.

So, for me, eating a Subway pizza sub is a perfectly legitimate new thing to try.

Now, if you’re gagging right now because Subway really is just that far beneath you, that’s your own fault.  I gave you ample warning.  If you’re gagging from the image of me licking a shoe, go eat something truffly to cleanse your palate.  And then send me some of whatever it is you just ate.

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Posted by on May 5, 2012 in Food/Drink


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