In the midst of the “everyone is getting obese” epidemic in America, why wouldn’t you decide to open a restaurant that serves humongous grilled cheese sandwiches with things like lasagna and pizza rolls on them?
Cleveland doesn’t care about you getting fat. Cleveland just wants to be able to say it lured Man v. Food there.
Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not complaining about the fact that I was able to take home half of my meal for the next day (if you know me, you know I usually finish what’s on the plate). I’m not going to say anything bad about a place that charges $4 for good beer (and yeah, that’s probably every place in Ohio, but it’s still a fascinating phenomenon to someone who lived in New York for over 5 years). I just think maybe Cleveland could handle a trendy healthy restaurant. I think it might be time to stop celebrating things that make you feel disgusting after you eat them. I think the grilled cheese sandwiches could at least have been served on less greasy, thinner slices of bread.
But I also think a restaurant that puts a picture of a meal like this on its website isn’t really ever going to worry about things like calorie count or artery clogs. And what’s important to note is that, on a Wednesday night, Melt was quoting a 35-40 minute wait for a table for 2. It didn’t actually take that long, but still. To even be able to say that in the first place, at a restaurant decorated with jack-o-lanterns and Christmas lights (and a random authentic Dairy Queen sign), is an accomplishment. So if Melt knows its customers well enough to know they’re not going to care if you tell them they’re eating an entire week’s worth of calories in one sitting, who am I to say that’s wrong?
Apparently not an authentic Clevelander. But I’m working on it. And I have the huge half of a grilled cheese sandwich in my fridge to prove it.