I could be sophisticated. The only thing stopping me is that I like deals too much.
Sure, you can still find deals on sophisticated things. There are sales at Barneys, Groupons for expensive restaurants, and discounted tickets for theater shows. But those are nothing compared to the thrill of being able to purchase 8 square slices of pizza, 5 breadsticks, and 10 cinnamon sticks for $10. There’s very little–in my life, at least–as impressive as consuming an obscene amount of crappy food for only $5 per person.
I’d rather feel a sense of accomplishment for a job well done on a writing project. Or for helping a child. Or for giving good advice. Or for fixing a printer. Or, let’s be honest, for holding on to a boyfriend for a year. But I am not going to pretend that making my stomach feel like it wanted to burst and implode at the same time did not offer an enormous feeling of satisfaction.
One day maybe I’ll be sophisticated. But for now, I will take comfort in the fact that probably nobody else I know has ever shared the $10 dinner box and lived to tell the tale.
The only slightly embarrassing part of this feat? I don’t even like Pizza Hut pizza.