I told you this day would come. What I couldn’t possibly have told you is how judgmental a simple meal could make me.
First, there was the food. It was ridiculously bland. As someone who can’t handle spicy food at all (not by choice; my body literally won’t let me eat it), you may think I’d appreciate that, but just because I don’t enjoy my mouth being on fire, that doesn’t mean I want everything I chew to have an equally unrecognizable flavor. I get it. You’re running a $5.99 unlimited buffet here. You can’t spend money on frivolous things like spices. But what about at least investing in one spice–I don’t care which one–and sprinkling it on everything? That wouldn’t cost a lot, and it would allow your food to taste like something other than yeast. (In case you think I’m asking for too much, in college there was this really cheap buffet place whose food tasted halfway decent, so it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that this restaurant could at least provide a halfway decent meal.)
So the pizza was bland, the pasta was bland, and the salad was mediocre. Luckily, someone messed up on the breadsticks and added cheese to them, giving them more flavor than all of the other food combined. So I ate 2 of those.
Next, there was the clientele. It was ridiculously fat. I get it. I’m going to a $5.99 unlimited buffet here. I can’t expect the most sophisticated, glamorous people. But seeing an obese mother walk in with her 2 chubby children just makes the food even less appetizing (I know you thought that wasn’t possible, but we’re really going for the record at this establishment). I kept trying to send telepathic admonishments: How could you take your children here when they’re already on their way to becoming unhealthily heavy? and I understand if you don’t have a lot of money, but buying a head of lettuce and a few carrots would cost just as much as this meal full of empty calories.
I shouldn’t judge. I’m the one who chose to come to this place. I wanted to see what it was like. Which is why I feel bad that I spent my entire meal judging others. So to make up for it, I’m contemplating buying a bottle of garlic powder or something and dropping it off at the restaurant. At least if the kids are going to get fat, they might as well enjoy their food while they do it.