Joe, let me level with you. I can see why you would think you could just hand me 2 slices of plain pizza for your $4 special price and expect me to be happy. Normally when it comes to food, I choose quantity over quality. And at that price, you’d think I’d just take my pizza and be satisfied.
But something you may not know is I’m subletting the place right above you, so I know your $4 “special” is the same price every single day. The other thing you may not know is that while I don’t actually prefer the fancy, fresh mozzarella kind like so many people do, I do prefer my pizza to taste good. You can make it as many hours ahead of time as you want and reheat it as many times as necessary, but when I bite into it, it still needs to taste delicious for me to consider it good pizza.
According to many of your reviewers on yelp, you are able to get by with serving the kind of pizza you do. But Joe, since we share the same address, I’ll let you in on a secret: your pizza tasted almost like the 99 cent pizza in my old neighborhood. In other words: pretty gross. It wasn’t quite as bad, or else I wouldn’t have even bothered eating the second slice. But at least with the 99 cent pizza you don’t feel so bad wasting it. At double the price, it should be double the quality, and it’s just not.
Luckily for you, I’m leaving the area soon so you won’t have to worry about me giving your customers looks like, “What are you thinking?” Not that you’d really worry about that, but you know, since we’re neighbors, you might take it as rude behavior. I don’t expect you to suddenly change your recipe and start producing excellent pizza, especially with all of the competition in the neighborhood; you’d have to start charging twice as much, and no one wants that. I guess I just wanted to let you know that all this month while I’ve been baking in my apartment because the heat from your place filters up to mine, I’ve been holding out hope that at least you might make delicious pizza to make up for it.
And I’m disappointed, that’s all, Joe. I never thought I’d say this, but I would have rather spent that $4 on one slice of the super expensive pizza around the corner. Sometimes, quality does trump quantity. It’s a necessary lesson to learn in life, but I’m just sad I had to learn it from you.