Overheard while walking home from the second-to-last subway to run in my neighborhood before transportation was suspended due to the impending hurricane: “I really wish I had a boyfriend right now.”
I didn’t have to hear the rest of the conversation to know exactly what the woman was talking about. She was talking about how preparing for a storm (or suffering a setback, or solving a problem) doesn’t feel quite so serious with someone by your side. She was thinking about how getting ready to be cooped up in your apartment for at least a day but possibly longer (or getting over an illness, or experiencing a flight delay) isn’t as frustrating when you’re not alone. She was implying that when disaster hits (or you’re happy or scared or excited or tired or annoyed) it’s easier to cope when you have a loved one near.
And I empathize with her. I’m yearning for someone who’s worth what I’m offering. I’m getting slightly impatient for that perfect fit that most days I’m convinced does exist somewhere out there for me. I’m becoming concerned that this blog is slowly slipping toward the category of “dating blog” that I never intended it to be in.
But earlier that day, as I brought back my emergency water and thought about how I spent last year’s hurricane at my boyfriend’s place, I realized that I don’t “really wish I had a boyfriend right now.” Sure, they’re great for waiting out a natural disaster, but that doesn’t mean I want one just to be able to say “we” instead of “I.” Just to add another character to interesting NYC stories. Just to keep me warm when the heat still hasn’t turned on yet during the last week of October.
What I really wish is this: I really wish that guy, the one who likes me for me yet also puts up with the stuff about me that isn’t always wonderful, would hurry up on his journey to find me.
But for now, I have my emergency water (and pear cider, and apartment projects to work on, and 3 kinds of bread, and ice cream sandwiches, and a dusty piano in need of attention). So I’m all set.