My most recent (it’s important to note I’m using recent here as in, “the last one,” not as in, “during a time period less than a year ago”) boyfriend was never supposed to be my boyfriend. I don’t mean that in the vague, “Oh, he wasn’t right for me anyway” way; I mean after our first date he decided he wasn’t interested. But that same night, because I knew he wasn’t interested and couldn’t just leave it alone, I texted him. In my mind it was a goodbye text, but somehow, it turned into the impetus for a year-minus-a-day relationship.
So you understand how monumental it is that, 3 days after a good first date (which for me pretty much just means: 1.) It didn’t later cause me to think, Why did I do that? Why did I say that? Why did I wear that? Why did I hear that? Why did I taste that? Why did I smell that? Why did I feel that? and 2.) The guy was not boring and he did make me laugh), I haven’t texted the guy a goodbye text.
Because the goodbye text, while masquerading as a goodbye text, and while convincing the sender it truly is a goodbye text, is also a hey-didn’t-you-think-I-was-intriguing-and-we-should-totally-meet-up-again-soon-right? text. Apparently. As I learned from my last relationship.
Do you know what else I learned from that relationship, which is embarrassing to admit it took me till my late-20s to learn, but whatever?
I learned that not hearing from a guy after a date is probably better than inadvertently convincing him to give you another chance that you’ll both only realize wasn’t necessary a year-minus-a-day later.
If you’re keeping track at home, so far since last year I have:
This is a thrilling advancement in my little-known quest to be mistaken for a sane human being. And not only did I not text the guy, but I didn’t obsess over the situation like a maniac. While I recounted the story to a friend, she even said, “Wow, you seem a lot calmer than normal–less high-strung than you usually are.” So there’s that.
But you know what? It’s kind of boring to be the emotionally controlled woman who is completely fine with the fact that she happened to go on a first date that went well and yet didn’t lead to marriage. How do some women do this all the time?***
***In other words, the next guy I go on a date with should look forward to a goodbye email, text, and possibly sky-writing message.