There’s a reason 28 year olds don’t stay out until 5am.
Just 6 hours earlier, I had been discussing this sad truth with a 26 year old, who said he has to pump himself up to stay out till 2. His 22 year old girlfriend looked on in disbelief, probably thinking to herself, I’ll never get that old.
She must have been blissfully unaware of the perils of growing up, one of them being if you do happen to find yourself staying out until 5am by a wacky turn of events and you have to take the subway from Brooklyn to (Manhattan to) Queens, you just might fall asleep on the train, which is both embarrassing and dangerous, since at that time of night (morning), anyone could easily steal your purse or do a lot worse and you’d be practically defenseless. And then when you’re woken up by police officers, you’ll immediately stand up and say sorry even though you’re not so much apologizing to them as you are to yourself for doing something so stupid. You’ll walk out of the subway car, squint at the sign, and take nearly 2 whole minutes to register the fact that you’re at the end of the subway line and not Times Square like you last remember hearing on the speaker. Then it will take another 30 seconds to realize you’re at an outdoor station and you are in fact outside, so what you need to do next is cross the platform and sit in the train waiting to go back the other way.
She probably couldn’t imagine the sense of relief felt once you comprehend you’re not only safe and alive but also only inconvenienced 2 stops out of your way, which is extremely fortunate considering if you had fallen asleep on a different train line you may have ended up an hour from your intended end point.
She just didn’t understand the way the fading full moon would be a comfort as you walk home in the early morning, yearning for your bed and making silent promises to never be away from it at this hour again.
She’ll figure it out, eventually. But for her sake, I hope it’s not anytime soon.