I thought it might be a bad idea. I was exhausted from work. The indoor track was laughably short. I forgot flip flops to wear in the shower afterward. It was close to freezing outside when I left with wet hair.
So why did I go running inside?
Well, I recently signed up for a 5K though I’ve never run any race before and have never sustained a running routine for longer than a month.
But that doesn’t fully explain it, because normally, I wouldn’t start preparing for something 3 months in advance.
All my life I’ve waited till the last minute to get ready for things–tests, performances, applications, interviews, dates. No matter how many times I tell myself I’ll prepare in advance, I never do.
Is it because I am so uncomfortable not succeeding at something that I figure if I don’t get ready until the last possible second, then if I fail I can blame it on that? In school, when I crammed the night before a test, was it because I knew no matter how much I studied there would always be someone who earned a better grade? When I frantically get ready for a date I’m already 10 minutes late for, is it because I’m worried no matter how good I look there will always be someone who impresses the guy more?
Honestly, I don’t think my subconscious is crafty enough to come up with such an elaborate plan; I don’t think it would go to such lengths to protect my fragile ego.
But this time I didn’t want to risk it. For once, I wanted to be prepared for something. Just once, I wanted to go into something not doubting my ability.
So if training for a 5K (which I realize most people don’t even need to train for) requires running inside, that’s what I’m going to do.