#460: Join

24 May

At the overeager encouragement of my newly engaged friend–and with the aid of a deal, of course–I signed up for  I’d been resisting it over the years because at first I refused to pay for a dating site, and then, later, when I got more lonely and less proud, I just didn’t think the guy for me would be on OkCupid, while crowded with creeps and hipsters, was at least familiar territory.  I’m used to dealing with men who think an appropriate first message is simply, “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”  I’m not used to encountering men who say they’re looking for nice women for serious relationships.  And to be honest, I don’t entirely like it.

Maybe it’s just my preconceived notion that MY guy wouldn’t be on Match, but so far, it seems like a requirement for men to join is that they’re over 40 years old.  And also living in New Jersey.

Plus, the way the site is set up is frustrating.  For instance, in preferences, you can indicate that not having a certain level of education is a deal-breaker.  Not the right body type?  Deal-breaker.  Smoking habits, drinking, whether you want kids, religion–all possible deal-breakers.  But height doesn’t have a deal-breaker option.  I mean, on the one hand, thank you for encouraging me to expand my horizons and consider dating men who are 5 inches shorter than I am, but on the other hand…no.

Also, there’s a misuse of an apostrophe in one of the boilerplate notifications: “These user’s have added you to their favorites.”  So okay, I’m trying to be less strict about immediately judging someone for using the wrong “to,” but that doesn’t mean the dating site has to follow suit with the general public.  If I’m supposed to be relying on your electronic expertise to find “Mr. Right” (though to be clear,, I’m more interested in locating Mr. Right for Me), it doesn’t exactly inspire confidence to find out even you can’t keep straight how to make a word plural.

And don’t even get me started on the silly “hints” they give to try to stimulate conversation: “Ask about fun or share what you like to do.”  Really?  I should send messages such as this: “Hi, man who is 15 years older and lives in a different state, may I please inquire about fun?”

Actually, based on the messages I’ve gotten so far (which number precisely 2), might truly consider that a quality introductory note.

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Posted by on May 24, 2013 in Computers


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