I’m shy. I’m shy. I’m shy. I’m shy. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I tell people this; they never believe me. Which means I’m a great actor, and that’s nice and everything, but when I’m at a dating event that is obviously awkward by nature for all involved and I try to break the ice by saying hi to the people nearest to me and they barely respond and look at me like I’m the crazy one for attempting to interact with strangers who have willingly shown up to this thing in the hopes of meeting strangers, it’s a little frustrating.
See, these people don’t seem to realize what a struggle it has been for me to reach the point where I can say words to people I’ve never met and be treated like a weirdo and then not run out of the bar in shame. Which means I’ve come a long way from the girl who couldn’t even answer a question in class without her face turning red. That’s cool and all, but it doesn’t exactly help me in a dating pool of Brooklynites who are seemingly attracted to…
Actually, I have no idea what men find attractive. I hear it’s supposedly some combination of desirable qualities like CONFIDENCE and INTELLIGENCE and HAVING A LIFE OF YOUR OWN, but in practice, it seems more like proximity to the next beer he’s reaching for at an OkCupid tasting event. Also, you shouldn’t somehow end up mentioning that you don’t enjoy paying taxes. Especially not to 2 different people in 2 separate conversations. Brooklyn boys do not find this attractive.
Which is fine, because I was really just there for the beer anyway.