Let me preface this by stating that I have a distinct disadvantage when it comes to playing old video games due to the fact that I never played video games as a child.
Okay, I guess the preface is unnecessary because you weren’t there to see how bad I was at this game (I forget what it’s called; I was a dinosaur who had to punch buildings to make them collapse). So for all you know, I was the star player and I got the highest score and everyone gathered around me to watch my excellent video game playing skills. Maybe you’d believe it if I said that drinking beer while playing the game even made me more coordinated and successful at causing these buildings to disintegrate.
That’s the beauty of this blog: if I had any capacity for lying, I could make myself out to be the coolest, most talented, most exciting person in the world. I could regale you with tales of the daring new things I did every day and you would be none the wiser.
Instead, thanks to my inability to bend the truth without admitting it right after in some sort of parenthetical remark (because that’s where the truth belongs, right?), you learn that I was inordinately thrilled each time I managed to punch a helicopter and cause it to burst into flames.
Some people’s truths may be stranger than fiction, but I hope I could come up with more enthralling stories than the real-life things I put on this blog sometimes. Otherwise, I maybe shouldn’t call myself a writer. Or at least not in public.