Below is a picture of me on the day I decided to run a marathon (yesterday). I know what you’re asking: “Why did you post such a poor-quality picture online for everyone to see?” But that’s not my fault; it’s my iPhone’s. So I will not address that in this blog entry. *
What I will address is that I am crazy. Maybe some people who choose to put their bodies through seemingly unendurable stress and fatigue all in the name of getting to display a round piece of metal around their necks aren’t insane. But I have to assume many are, and I have to admit I am one of them. Because let’s get this out in the open right now: I’m not a runner. I don’t run. Yet I’m going to run a marathon. Insanity.
Do you know what’s not insane? Giving myself two years to prepare for my first marathon. It probably seems like I’m really smart for doing this, but it wasn’t actually my decision. To gain automatic entry into the NYC marathon, you must participate in 9 New York Road Runners races and volunteer at one the year before. Since it is already November, there really isn’t enough time to do this before the end of the calendar year–even if I believe in the possibility of time travel.**
Now that that’s out of the way, I guess I should tell you why I chose to prepare for this marathon. The short answer is that it’s something I always figured I’d never do, and therefore, it’s something I should definitely do. The long answer concerning my desire to distract myself from my current problems with an attainable goal that’s easily measured could be typed out in bullet points for you below, except I don’t have time to create that list right now since my dinner is ready.
Marathon tip #1: It’s never too early to start carbo-loading.
* You’re probably also asking why one of my eyes is squinting and the other isn’t. If I haven’t been able to figure it out in almost 3 decades, you’re certainly not going to get to the bottom of it right now.
** At the time of this posting, time travel has not yet been invented, so future self, in case it is, please go back in and edit this so I don’t sound like a weirdo who doesn’t understand science.