#632: Be a delinquent juror

12 Jun

When the Queens county court requested a confirmation of address a couple of months ago, I guess I didn’t get back to them as quickly as they would have liked.  I admit putting the envelope in my entryway and then forgetting about it can’t really be described as replying “immediately.”  And, okay, yeah, when they sent the next notice and I again forgot about it, that also was not particularly speedy.

But when the third notice came last month and it stated in big block letters that I was now deemed a DELINQUENT JUROR and would have to pay a fine of $1000 if I didn’t confirm my address immediately…I think that was overkill.  I did exactly what they asked me to do–just a bit slower than they wanted.

I didn’t break any laws.  I didn’t commit any crimes.  Plus, the thing is, since I had already served on the jury 4 years ago, I wasn’t even eligible to serve again yet, so I thought I had plenty of time to tell them that.

That was because I thought the court was going to follow the rules.  Instead, after I sent my confirmation that I’m not eligible to serve until 2016, they promptly sent me a jury summons.

I put it on the floor in the middle of my apartment so I wouldn’t forget about it.

And I didn’t.  But I did leave it there until last week, at which point I frantically called whatever number I could find and desperately pressed as many numbers as I could until I finally got to speak to a human.  That human told me to simply send in another copy of my confirmation. She said I didn’t have to report to court even if my number was posted online.

However, I was due in court yesterday and I doubt my confirmation has been processed already, so as far as the court knows, at this point, I am a delinquent juror.  And I’m also a little worried that something worse than an outrageous fee is going to happen to me.

But let’s face it.  Even if I had shown up (though, remember, I’m not legally allowed to serve on a jury for 2 more years), there’s no way anyone wants me deciding their fate.  I can’t even decide what to order at restaurants, let alone whether someone should be punished for a crime I have no way of knowing for sure whether they did or did not commit.  There’s also no way anyone wants to serve on that jury with me; we’d be stuck there forever since I wouldn’t be able to make a decision. (It’s not my fault–it’s because I’m a Gemini.)

Anyway, if I do end up in jail even though I followed the rules, and you get summoned to serve on the jury to determine whether I’m innocent or not, I don’t blame you at all if you become a delinquent juror.  Just be sure to send chocolate.

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Posted by on June 12, 2014 in NYC


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