It’s telling, perhaps, that I’ve been meaning to make the time and take the effort to learn to meditate for years.
The best part about the introductory class was that the instructor made sure to tell us we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over being bad at meditating–that is, having our thoughts wander from the specific thing we are supposed to be paying attention to. The worst part was my legs weren’t hanging right while sitting on the pillow and the room was hot. Okay, those are 2 worst things. I’m choosing to let it go; you should, too.
While some may think meditation is all about letting things go–stress, and worry, and fear–in fact it’s about attuning ourselves to a certain thing. The regular meditation I learned was about focusing on breath, and the walking meditation was about focusing on walking.
It sounds simple, but for anyone with a brain that tends to wander (I’m talking about you, humans), it requires intense energy. It necessitates a desire to quiet the inner turmoil of swirling thoughts and ideas we’re pummeled with all day–and all night, if you’re like me and can’t get to sleep sometimes thanks to the nonstop conversation.
It’s a good thing, I am sure, in the long run. It’s a mental torture, or strengthening, that can only help in many aspects of life, I am convinced.
Whether I will continue to try to meditate, I’m not sure. Mostly because I don’t know who I am if I don’t have constant chatter bouncing around in my mind. An identity crisis is probably worth it though, so we’ll see.