I was going to get a flu shot last year. Every year before that, I thought, wait, there’s a chance I could get sick from the vaccination? Okay, nope. That’s not because I’m any sort of wimp but just because I know my immune system: lazy.
If there’s something going around in the air thousands of miles away, I’ll catch it. Exaggeration? Possibly. Possibly not.
Then last year I figured out I was being stupid and you don’t actually get the flu if you feel sick after the shot. You just might feel like you have the flu.
Not a big difference, no, but a big enough one to convince me to do my societal duty and not carry around germs that could harm those with even more compromised immune systems than my own.
Last year, though, I had a sore throat for what felt like months at a time, so I didn’t get the shot. The pharmacist at CVS said I had to be completely healthy. That wasn’t going to happen.
Again, later on I found out I was being stupid. First of all, you can get the vaccination if you have a sore throat. Second of all, who is ever completely healthy at a given moment?
So, I finally got the shot.
It hurt. My arm still hurts. I feel a bit under the weather but that’s pretty much my norm so it’s probably not due to the vaccination.
And, most importantly, I feel like I’m in control. Lately it seems like my life is running away from me–but at a slow enough pace so that you can’t really call it running…it’s more like sneaking away at such a slow crawl that you don’t notice it’s even moving until it’s too far away to call it to come back. Any chance to pull some of it back into my own realm of power feels good. It feels like I’m doing something other than just sitting here and letting myself lose who I am.
Whether it’s a big enough prick on the arm to jolt me into doing more in my everyday life to feel in control of things is still yet to be seen. Of course, there’s also the argument that being in control is not the ultimate goal of a life well-lived.
I am, all of the time, trying to come to terms with that, and it may take me even longer to get there than it did to get a flu shot.